Friends? Nah

Okay, I have to admit.. I'm having a depression now. Too many stresses from the outside. Not fully from my studies, yet, the biggest problem is my relationship with God-knows-who-he-is... 'How on the earth is a happy-go-lucky person having a depression?' Well, i dont really know how to answer.. But seriously, i have depression..Mood swings, Lost interest to everything, too humble. I got all the sympthoms...

I know myself, i've been mood swings these few days.. I'm blaming to myself, why i have to be so observed to everyone that i care? When they have something hiding from me.. And out of nothing, i'll just found out.. Please, if you guys have a secret that cannot be reveal, could you please don't make it so obvious for me to determine? You know by the time i figure it out myself, I'm not angry, but my heart dies.. I dont really like to determine someone's act. But when you make it so obvious, its hard for me not to find out what the hell in the world you're doing...

People, i need cure.. I really need some cure so that my heart can recover.. Well, its hard for me to trust him anymore.. I've been telling all my secrets to him, and what did i get for the return? Sometimes i hate secrets.. Making the world around suffer from it. I dont know why am i typing this, maybe the one who's suffering from depression would type something like this.. Somehow this secret, is hidden from me since last year, or maybe last two years... If you dont trust me or dont want to share your secret, i think i'm not your best friend anymore(or never).. And i thought best friend are suppose to share secret or what..

Guys, if you wanna comfort me or what? Please do.. But i'm telling you 1st, i might not be accepting your comments. I dont know what should i do now.. I'm now walking on the path to noway. Exams, Friendship, Love are driving me CRAZY... I've lost my faith in everything.. But not God, cause i know He will always be there for me... But i really need something solid, maybe a shoulder..Hope one day I'll understand this quote "If God put you to it, He will put u through it"..

Thanks for your concern anyway.. Lets hope I'll will get through these hard moments....